As I sat in the van, driving to the airport an intense mix of emotions was flowing over my mind. On one hand, I had wanted to leave the Ship for a while, and on the other hand, I was already missing those whom I had said goodbye to. That mix of emotion continued through the flying to Barcelona, the long day in Paris (worst airport ever!) and my time with a friend outside of Atlanta. Now I sit where I started, but I sit a different person, with a redeemed soul, and a semblance of passion in my soul. As I look over the OM USA base, it remains the same, yet I am not the same. I have been touched by the lives that have come into my heart; a heart that has been ripped to shreds again and again. I sit here shy in the wonder of guy, and fearful of time passing my by, going much faster than I am. Tears fill my heart as I look upon the last two years on the Logos Hope, and I can truly say that I enjoyed it, no matter how much I wanted to leave at points.
The OM USA office is a place of wonderful solitude. Set in the backwoods town of Tyrone, Georgia, it sits outside of metro-Atlanta by a number of miles. The property is surrounded by woods, and the housing is high class as far as I can tell. It’s very quiet and reflective here, and it is easy for me to get caught up in my emotions. I see things that remind me of the start of my journey, places that I first met people I would grow far closer to, and my mind goes on a train seeing before my minds-eye the events of a long two years; the arrival in Denmark, PST, all the way to recent Africa. The events are the paper on which my story has been written, and the people are the words which make up this story. The ship has put so many wonderful people in my way, so many I will never see again. It breaks my heart to think of those who laughed with me, challenged me, loved me regardless of my many imperfections, and just spent time with me. I look back and see how lucky I was to spend time with people such as these. I look ahead and see the moments I need to cherish with those who are real.
I will spend the next few days saying goodbye to the Ship in my heart and preparing to move on to the next adventure in my life. I will go through processing talks with a mentor, and reflect on everything, preparing my heart to be steadfast in the face of temptation. The next days will be spent remembering how I have been blessed by so many people in my life, so many wonderful people, not just on the Ship, but in Michigan as well. I will never forget any heart that has made a true connection to mine, and I thank God that so many hearts cared. I will miss you, friends abroad, and I already do…
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2 comments:
You have been blessed beyond compare, you have seen more than most of us could ever dream of. As you come home and reflect, remember that memories are just as dear and true as those people who helped create them. Though I am sad for you that you will be leaving the ship, I for one, am incredibly excited to see you and get to know the man you have become!
~Tawny
Ryan, I appreciate these words. They help me to see some of the emotions my sons will be facing in the coming days and months. You certainly have influenced both Jake and Steve in a positive way. Thank you for the friendship you've given them.
Susan
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