Intimate Portrait Part One: The Golden Years

I can imagine what being born was like. I think that it was like being cast out from everything comfortable into a strange and unknown place. I can imagine the shock of moving from the isolation and quiet of the womb to what seems like calamity in the hands of a man you have never known. Not only do you not know him but you don’t know what the heck he is! Well, they day was August 10th 1987, and there I was at 3 in the morning. I was my parent’s final child, and a big one at that. I weighed 8 pounds and 10 ounces, and was a bundle of love.
My mother told me I never cried much as a baby and other sources have confirmed this to me. I like to think of myself as a content baby. The only thing I needed was to be cuddled. All of my family has told me at some point how cuddly I was, and still am. The truth is that I absolutely love the comfort I feel when I am in somebody I love’s arms. I could live with that feeling everyday, and it is one of my great excitements for my marriage. When I was a child, I used to let any of my close relatives hold me as long as I wanted, without hesitation.
I grew up early on in life in Hazel Park, Michigan. I had my small family of five, and my grandmothers played a huge part in my growing up. They used to take me out and spoil me rotten with food and toys. I used to love to go over to their houses and play with them and my cousins. Dodie (my mom’s mom) and Papa used to live somewhere nearby, and every Halloween (that I remember) we’d go there and Dodie would make us cool costumes. Then Christmas always reminded me of Nana (my dad’s mom) and Poppa’s house. We would go after church to their house on Christmas Eve and enjoy many snacks full of sugar and then came the presents! This tradition continues until today.
One of my earliest memories is of Christmas time when I was 3 or 4, and I’m sure my mother could tell this story better than me, but I will anyways. I went to a public school for preschool and it was Christmas time in “Detroit”. For me this always was exciting with the good food and snacks, and of course, presents. My class got to go on a field trip to see Santa Claus! I did believe in him, and was probably pretty excited to go see him. When we got there I got the shock of my life. It seemed as though Santa had underwent a transformation! What was wrong with this Santa? This particular Santa possible ruined the idea of Santa throughout the rest of my childhood (or my brother did that). He was black! I was so confused that my only response was to run away and cry! Keep in mind that I grew up in a pretty diverse area. Yet I still thought this was odd. Needless to say, I did get my present (a Goofy puzzle), but I am not sure if I ever sat on his lap.
In the winter of 1991 my dad got a new job. I’ll stop here to discuss how important my dad was to me. We always used to play. We did everything from Legos to wrestling to sports. All three of us kids used to take on our monster dad in wrestling, and we all looked up to him. Like I said, in 1991 my dad took a job in Port Huron (which is an hour or so away). I didn’t really know what was going on, and I didn’t care that we were leaving (in my memory) because I didn’t have many quality friends. We moved into our new house in Port Huron in January of that year, and I was as sick as a dog. I don’t remember a whole lot about the move or adapting to the new place, except that I loved the house.
I was very much attached to my mother, and this may come from the security of the cuddling, because my Mom has always been one to hold me as much as possible. One memory I have is going to either kindergarten or to preschool when I was a wee tyke. I was dropped off and when my mom left I stared balling! I couldn’t handle the separation, I had never been alone like that before, and I didn’t really know what to do. So I just cried and cried on my first day of school, until eventually the teacher gave me a Detroit Lions (our football team) stuffed animal. The teacher (Mrs. Rathje) still remembers that incident and tells me of it every time I see her. I also met my future best friend (Cody Tuttle) on my first day of school.
School to me was a blur of activity. I attended a Lutheran school called Trinity Lutheran. My class size was always tiny, and all of us were friends most of the time I was there. First grade was a challenge for me, but also a blessing. It was in first grade that Tim and I became good friends, and this friendship is still running strong. We used to run around his streets with Andy Smith and just play. I also was good friends with Cody Tuttle (who I met in kindergarten) and I would spend a ton of time at his house. We would run around the woods going on crazy adventures, or just wrestle in his house. I still remember the smell of his house, but I can’t describe it. I sometimes look back and miss the unhindered joy of childhood. I miss the lack of worry and fear in my life.
Although I had a lot of friends, I was always a little withdrawn. I was never the loud kid in school (that was Tim), but was always friendly. I remember my first “girlfriend” was in second grade. Her name was Ashley Lamping, and she said I was cute one day, so we used to run around and act like we were dating. This lasted for 2 or 3 years of an off and on “relationship”. I have since lost contact with Ashley, but will never forget her.
My brother was never interested in sports or anything like it, but I have always been in love with most of them. I started sports in first grade with tee ball. I played with Cody Tuttle and his sister, Danielle. I don’t recall much of this season, but I do remember that one game was ridiculously hot (close to 100°) and when the game was done we went swimming in the pond near by. After that I got involved in soccer in second grade until I discovered football in fifth grade (More to come on that later). I also played roller hockey off and on for a couple of years, but missed a lot of games from vacationing. My dad played a big part in my love for sports, and also in teaching me how to play.
As I mentioned in the previous paragraph, my family loved our vacations. It seemed like every summer we would go on a new vacation. The first one I remember was in either 1991 or 1992 and it was to the world famous Disneyland in Florida. As was the case for most of our vacations my mom’s sister (Aunt Diana or Nan) and her family (Uncle Bruce, Kyle, and Jess) would be our vacationing partners. Some of my memories are from the enormous amounts of video that my Uncle took, but some are genuine. It was a great time, and of course I enjoyed it. We went on all the rides, and saw everything there was to see. The funniest part of the trip was the “E.T.” ride. You told them your name when you got on the ride, and half way through E.T. would say your name. My sister nearly jumped out of the car when she heard it because the voice was so creepy and unexpected. I also got to see my favorite turtles (The Ninja Turtles) perform there, and even got a picture with Raphael.
Disney was a rare year for vacationing as we didn’t usually travel that far. Most summers were spent in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan in the Porcupine Mountains or on the Sand Dunes of western Michigan. We would go and have camp fires, swim, rollerblade, and do a ton of other fun things. These are some of my favorite times as a child. On my 8th birthday we were in the UP and I had just received a new pair of Rollerblades. I was skating, but wasn’t very good at it, and when I came to a hill I dared to venture down it: That was a bad idea. I fell about halfway down and got all scrapped up. I remember crying, and then my parents bought me ice cream from the Outpost which made it all better. I will always relish these times spent with my family.
I grew up as a pastor’s kid, and this meant added benefits with the church. I could use the gym whenever he was in his office, and even go on-line! This was a new thing to me, and I loved it. My dad ran a great youth group at Faith Lutheran Church, and I wish I was old enough to attend it. I was old enough to attend his VBS sessions at the same church which was very memorable. Every summer it seemed like I was just waiting to go to VBS. He did amazing programs, and a typical one was a sort of Old Testament lifestyle. We would have groups that lived in tents and got play money. In the morning we would always have bread and jams, then go play games and learn of Old Testament heroes such as Sampson and David. There was also one year when he did an Old western style VBS. This one was even more fun, and even thought I don’t remember why he did this theme, I can tell you that the amount of work that went into it was astounding. He made little building fronts out of wood that looked to a young boy very real. He even dressed up as the villain Black Bart to come haunt us.
Fall was always my least favorite time of year, as it meant another year of school. By the third grade, I had made a ton of friends (all that ere in my class) and had a lot of people to hang out with. I also started to break out of my shell a little bit and became sort of loud. My fourth grade teacher was the pastor’s wife; Mrs. Mann. She was one of the most loving teachers I have had, and would always hug all of us when we were sad. To this day I still get hugs whenever I see her. I would still hang out with Tim and Cody, and now I would even go to other peoples houses. I would also enjoy video games for myself, and I remember when we bought our Sega Genesis. It had a couple of games (Sonic 2 and Twin Cobras) and I spent countless hours trying to beat Sonic, but never could.
One distinct memory I have from boyhood was my sister’s boyfriends. She was a popular cheerleader in school, very pretty, and a little spoiled. This translated into many new boys coming home with her. I remember we called every two weeks “D-Day”, which meant dump day, because she would always break up with a new guy. One boyfriend I remember vividly is Nate. Looking back now on Nate just the thought of him dating my sister makes me cringe. He was a user and a complete jerk, but to a boy like me he was awesome. He would always play video games with me and play basketball and things like that. Once I beat him in a game of basketball and he went home because he was so angry. I remember that when they broke up I cried a lot, maybe more than Jenni, but I don’t remember the situation.
In 1994 or 1995 my dad started to lead Missions trips to Juarez, Mexico. He still leads these to this day, and I have enjoyed many of these trips. When I was young, my mother used to go on these trips as well, leaving me with my grandparents. I would spend a week at each set of Grandparents house, and these times were always a blessing to me. The first few years Matt went with me too, and that was a mess. We never really got a long until both of us had grown up. So back then we would always fight, and of course he would win, and I would cry. I remember one time we were at Nana and Papa’s cottage in Onaway, Michigan, and Matt was being particularly crazy that week. First he took me in the barn and had me start the riding lawnmower then we both ran, leaving it running. Needless to say, Papa was pretty ticked off, and we got a nice little spanking. After that, Matt and I got worse for some reason. We stood outside and kept using the tennis rackets to smash apples toward each other, and we got yelled at. This, of course, was followed with a little more mischief. Matt stood outside ringing the dinner bell mercilessly and then we ran. We tried to hide from Papa, but failed mightily. We got quite the spanking, and from that moment for a few years I was very much afraid of my grandfather.
At my other grandparents house I would spend a lot of time watching cartoons. I have always been a big fan of them, and still occasionally watch them. I also loved to be outside in the forest and on the lake. I would always go have adventures in the woods all by myself. My imagination was ridiculous, and still is. I would go on epic tales without moving a mile. I could even (and still can) get so wrapped up in my mind that I lost sense of time and reality. I loved to spend time with my Dodie, and she loved my very much. I never thought that Poppa loved me as much as her, but now that I understand people I see just how much he really loved me. He used to take me fishing on Lake Huron at least once every time I was up there. I liked to fish, but the problem was that we woke up at 5 in the morning to go out. This was crazy for a boy like me! I always wanted to sleep as long as possible. I’ll never forget my grandpa, who passed away a little while ago, but I will get to that in a later post.
As I grew older our vacations continued, but grew a little less frequent. One of the best times I have ever had was on our last big vacation when I was 8 or 9. The same two families piled into a couple of vehicles (ours was a station wagon pulling a Pop up camper, theirs was a RV) and driving all the way out to the Grand Canyon. This was only one stop in a three week adventure. We drove everywhere a boy like me could want to, and saw a ton of sights. We saw Mount Rushmore, went white water rafting, Climbed hills, saw REAL mountains (the Rockies), went into sand dunes that looked like something an artist though up, went to Yellowstone National Park and saw all sorts of wildlife (including Bison), and went to countless museums. It was a dream come true! As is normal for long road trips, some problems arose, and I remember a certain place my siblings and I nicknamed “Divorce Camp Ground”.
As a child I was deathly afraid of my parents separating. I think this was because I loved them both so much and couldn’t choose which one I would go with, or just because I knew the repercussions it could have on my life. Every time my parents would fight I would worry they would divorce. This never happened, but me and my whole family thought it would one night on this vacation. We were in Arizona or Utah or somewhere around there and we were either lost or running late. I don’t remember the drive much, probably because I was playing with my cousin Jess (we were great friends) or sleeping. I do remember our arrival to the camp ground. It was chaotic. We could barely find our camp site from the lack of lights, and to make matters worse, when we did find it we couldn’t find the electricity hook up for our pop up. There were also scorpions on the way to the bathroom, and dinner was burnt Macaroni and Cheese. My mom was furious, and my dad was exhausted. When we finally crawled in to our beds at night, I felt like I was caught in the middle of the invasion of Normandy. My parents shouted back and forth, and all three of us children cried and held each other. That was one of the worst nights of my life, and made me all the more afraid of divorce.
That was probably the best vacation I have ever had, and will never forget it. It is still a common theme every time we meet with my extended family. All of the fun and stupid things that happened will be held in my heart forever, you can’t pay for memories like that (even though it was a pretty hefty fee for the vacation). But as always I had to go back to school. The fifth and sixth grades were a highlight of my life, and where I really changed into who I am. I was involved in a lot of things during these years (cub scouts, soccer, flag football, roller hockey, etc.) and loved every minute of the sports and activities I was in. We would go to tournaments for soccer that lasted all day and even if I didn’t play much I loved it for the fun with friends and my coach (also known as my dad). I even branched out and met a couple public school kids in flag football, which was a blast even though I was too shy to try very hard. I also won a geography bee in fifth grade and still keep the medal in my room for some stupid reason. Also, in fifth grade I made a new friend. His name was Sampson, and he was the cutest thing I had ever seen. Little did I know that this dog would become one of my favorite pals! He used to chase me down and tackle me and nibble my ears!
At our old church we used to have outside services when it was nice on Monday, and I always liked these more because the music was from an acoustic guitar, and not an organ. At one of these services, all of my family went, and we left the dog in the yard. We lived in a parsonage on church property, and even though Sammy was young he was very wild and strong. He managed to climb up our log pile after breaking his chain only to run into the middle of the church service. My dad was so embarrassed, but all the rest of us kids thought it was hilarious.
The forging of my personality was under way, and I was loving life. I had amazing friends that I hung out with all the time, I was very successful in school, I was a starter on basketball and soccer teams, and my family was as tight as ever. Life was at a high for me when I was in sixth grade. Then my whole perspective was changed, and my world was turned upside down. I never expected these feelings that were to come in the dawning months, and they still affect me to this day.